If Your First Massage...

As you know there are no many misleading advertisements in news papers these days who are offering so called special massage or Bangkok style massage are not licensed massage therapists (LMTs), they are mostly offering sex services & are always under the suspicious eyes of authorities. Such places are raided very often.

Some first time youngsters get excited with these advertisements & visit licensed massage therapists (LMTs) in regular day spas which are legitimate businesses offering health services through professional Masseurs. The mistake they do it by asking Erotic massages or happy ending. Sometime these people have to go through lot of embarrassment.

Erotic Massage is sort of the red-headed, stepchild of the massage industry.

So I'm going to take this moment to explain to you guys out there the basics of therapeutic massage so no one makes that horrible mistake. So put your pants back on and pay attention, OK?

For purposes of this lesson, I will refer to therapeutic massage providers as "day spas" and erotic massage providers as "massage parlors." In an earlier post I described how to tell the difference between a massage parlor and a day spa - so just flip that info around. Now you're looking for businesses that use LMTs. Some parlors like to keep one around to help look legitimate.

Massage Types
When you go for your first therapeutic massage, it may go under a number of names including:

Sports
Shiatsu
Swedish
Reiki
Deep Tissue
Relaxing

Each one has it's own special techniques. I'll go over them quickly so you know what to expect from each. For example, "sports" massage is the hardest form (and by hard I mean pressure, and nothing else you perv). It involves employing a lot of pressure using the hands, fingers, palms, and in some cases elbows and forearms. It also requires a lot of knowledge about anatomy since the LMT has to know how to deal specifically with sports injuries.


"Shiatsu" is the second hardest form. Basically it's intense pressure applied with the fingers, palms and thumbs, with emphasis on certain pressure points on the body

"Swedish" is what most people associate with therapeutic massage. It's more of a gentle style with lots of caressing and rubbing

"Reiki" It's supposed to be about manipulating the energy fields of the body.

Now "deep tissue" and "relaxing" aren't massage types, they are styles. Deep tissue uses the hard techniques of sports and shiatsu, while relaxing uses the softer caressing techniques of swedish. I will tell you right now that 90% of the LMT's out there give only a relaxing massage with a little deep tissue thrown in. This is because most customers don't know the difference and/or don't care. So when you make your appointment, don't expect the harder forms of shiatsu or sports unless you actually request it.

My personal style is mostly relaxing with deep tissue thrown in if the customer needs it. I'll even do sports by request  But when I'm feeling lazy, in a hurry, or I just find you annoying - you'll get a relaxing only.

Massage Etiquette
OK, now you know what to ask for before you start, so let's go over what to expect in the room. The first thing your masseuse is gonna do is ask you to get "comfortable." This means to strip down to underwear and then slip underneath the sheet (or towel). For you shy types out there - don't worry. If you go commando, the masseuse will ALWAYS keep you discretely covered. In fact, some masseuses will always keep you under a sheet and only uncover the parts of the body as they're worked.

Massages always start with you on your stomach. A basic massage will include the neck, shoulders, upper and lower back, thighs and calves. A full-body massage will also include the upper arms and feet.

When the back is finished, the masseuse will then ask you to flip over. This is a perfectly normal part of the massage and is not an indication that you are about to get jerked off. Let me repeat this for those of you who are slow learners... Being asked to flip over is NOT the same as offering a happy ending! Full-body will add the lower arms, hands, torso, lower legs and in some cases the head and face.

Speaking of enchiladas, I know some of you are wondering at this point, "I can't get my front massaged - I'll get a woody!" To you I say... Do you really think you're the first guy on the planet to sport wood during a normal massage? They actually teach us how to deal with this in massage school. We just throw an extra towel over you to hide it. That's it. End of crisis.

Now just because you didn't get a happy ending doesn't mean you shouldn't tip.

How To Ask A Masseuse For A HAPPY ENDING
For those of you who are still puzzling over the age-old question "How do I ask a masseuse for a happy ending?" - there is a simple answer.

The answer is "Never." You NEVER ask a masseuse for a happy ending for two reasons. First, if you're in a massage parlor it is understood that you're getting one. Second, if you're in a day spa, then you just committed what's known in legal circles as "solicitation."